The Frightening Future

I can’t believe that this is going to be my final year in college. After cruising various classes for around 3 years, now is the time for me to start writing the final output of my study which is the undergraduate thesis. Some people who are graduating way ahead of me said that writing an undergraduate thesis isn’t going to be that difficult as probably pictured. Although there may be several intervening variables that can hamper the process, up to this point that is not actually something that I am really worrying about. Instead –like probably many of those who have been in my position- the concern goes to how my life is going to be after all of this college things end.

Looking for Jobs or Continuing my Study?

Not being the son of a millionaire makes me have to exclude “getting married” as one of the options mentioned in the subtitle for now. That leaves me with two. Should I just look for the jobs or should I just continue my study? Frankly speaking, I would really love to continue my study directly after I graduate. But not as simple as choosing meals for lunch, each of these options have their own pros and cons which somehow got me thinking that there is some space inside of me that I have not been able to fulfill until now. So that can make picking one of the options be a solid leap of faith.

Pursuing a master degree would be a great choice. But what is this really going to cost me? Money? Yes, no question needed. But there’s a lot of scholarship programs out there ready to be enrolled, right?! Exactly! So what’s the problem then?

Here’s the problem in my perspective…

In my opinion, at least there are two factors we should consider in getting a scholarship. Besides having an outstanding qualification as a fresh graduate, I believe that luck also plays a role in the pursuit of the scholarship (but let’s put aside the ‘luck’ kind of thing to make this article less-superstitious to read. Besides, who’s going to rely only on it anyway). As a matter of fact, I see myself as just an ordinary qualifier that stands among those shining students. I don’t think that I can be able to translate a solid hundred percent materials I have absorbed in class to be something that I can be proud of. If there’s one thing in me that I can be proud of, maybe it is the fact that I can remember almost all Barney Stinson’s pick up lines on How I Met Your Mother. But since that’s totally irrelevant to support the purpose of me getting a scholarship, what I am right now is just a person that constantly nurtures a growing anxiety about his own future academic life.

As I try to get to myself better from time to time, I realized that I may not have a certain, specific, and deep skill on a particular field. I track back my own history of how I jumped from one to another thing just fine but never become really good in any of them. I supposed to be grateful with the idea that I am probably a jack of all trades. But in the other hand I might have to also realize that there’s an equal chance for me to be a master of none. This thought has been very annoying for some time and it is hard to be ignored.

For the mean time, I keep compensating the perspective I have with an old saying that says, “Hard work does not betray.” Even though that also leaves me with another thing in mind which I avoid to think for now. I consider everything I’ve done comes with the spirit of hard work. At least until I can perfectly measure the relativity of hard work itself in my version.

For life’s sake, grumbling feels so good!

How I Fell in Love with Basketball - Part One

Pict by. IDH

  

I’ve been loving basketball since I was at 4^th grader of elementary school. My big brother was the one who actually dragged me into basketball game for the very first time. I was indirectly “contaminated” by the basketball video games he played at home, a couple of expensive basketball shoes he bought, and all of basketball jerseys he had. All those first impressions about basketball game slowly shaped my mind to see it as a sport with certain high-requirements whose player has to be able to fulfill. That kind of perspective came to me in a very positive way. I was challenged by my own point of view that I should be able to play this as I thought that if I could eventually be able to play this sport, I can be one of those cool kids at school.

So I started to play basketball at my elementary school court with my first cheap ’76ers basketball which my Mom bought me (Certainly with some force from me). I still remember how short I was at that time, considering that the ring was set way shorter than the standard height, but I still could not touch the board no matter how high I jumped. Elementary school was the first time I played this sport, and I found my self-confidence started to evolve as I increased the intensity to play basketball.

Going to the Junior high school, I was even more serious on this game. I decided to join the school team and I had more practice in there. It got actually more challenging since the competition was also more visible. Everyone (especially the freshman) wanted to be selected to the main team to play in the competition. But, in order to get there, one has to go crazy and do more practice than any other player in the team could ever possibly do.

I think that time was the craziest time for me. I really fell in love with the game and felt like I wanted to dedicate most of my time knowing more about basketball. I did practice (I guess) more than any of my peers did. I was really being ambitious to get into the main team so that I could play in the main team and go to the competition together with my seniors.

I did complete one of my goals that I made it to the main team at my freshman year. It felt great to be in the main team, especially when I knew that not all freshman can do this thing. I told my parents about it and I asked them to buy me a pair of basketball shoes. I got my first pair of Nike basketball shoes before I went to that competition.

To Be Continued.

Inikah Awalnya?

12/02/2015 - 23:50:05

Pada awalnya saya berpikir menulis merupakan pekerjaan yang mudah untuk dilakukan, juga bisa dilakukan tanpa mengikuti sebuah peraturan. Memang hal tersebut tidak terbantahkan, banyak tulisan yang bisa saja tercipta (dan mungkin enak untuk dibaca) tanpa harus terpatok terhadap sebuah ketentuan.

Entah berapa email yang telah dibuat hanya untuk mendaftar ke beberapa situ blog, saking banyaknya blog yang telah saya buat, dan juga karena seringnya saya kehilangan ketertarikan untuk menulis sebuah tulisan pada pertengahan prosesnya, akhirnya secara perlahan saya sama sekali tidak ingat email apa saja dan juga blog apa saja yang telah saya buat untuk memenuhi hasrat menulis sesaat saya itu.

Seiring saya beranjak ke jenjang pendidikan tinggi, kini saya terpaksa untuk sadar bahwa kemampuan menulis ternyata sangatlah esensial sekaligus krusial bagi saya, terlebih setelah memilih “Ilmu Hubungan Internasional” sebagai studi saya di perkuliahan. Lebih mengejutkannya lagi, kini saya disadarkan oleh kenyataan bahwa menulis (terutama dalam konteks akademis) harus mengikuti beberapa ketentuan pokok yang akan membuat tulisan saya dianggap sah sebagai sebuah karya ilmiah.

Berlangsungnya 3 semester perkuliahan membuat saya cukup beradaptasi dengan keadaan yang sebelumnya sangat saya takutkan dalam hal menulis. Kini saya mulai terbiasa menulis dengan mencantumkan kuotasi, referensi, catatan kaki, dan beberapa etika penulisan akademis lainnya. Kabar baiknya, beberapa dari karya tulis yang saya buat sudah mendapatkan penilaian yang cukup baik dari dosen lokal maupun dosen asing yang sempat mengajar saya selama perkuliahan.

Tentunya hal tersebut tidak membuat rasa penasaran saya untuk menulis terpuaskan begitu saja. Gemar membaca artikel – artikel yang terdapat di media masa, kini saya merasa tertantang untuk menuangkan minat saya yang sebelumnya hanya terbentuk karena tuntutan tugas ke arah jurnalisme.

Inilah sebuah tantangan baru yang saya harus hadapi. Telah lama saya merasa iri terhadap teman – teman sebaya saya yang sudah sangat pandai dan lihai dalam membuat tulisan jurnal. Tidak hanya merasa iri terhadap apa yang mereka hasilkan, tapi saya juga tipikal orang yang kadang merasa iri terhadap kepribadian seseorang yang saya tahu pandai dalam membuat jenis karya tersebut.

Entah apa sebenarnya yang membuat saya kagum terhadap sosok seorang Jurnalis, namun mengemukakan sebuah informasi yang dibalut dengan integritas, independensi, dan kejujuran menurut saya merupakan sebuah hasil karya yang patut diapresiasi lebih. Terlebih, peran jurnalis –disadari atau tidak- merupakan sebuah sosok yang sangat vital di dalam proses transfer informasi yang terjadi di sebuah tempat tertentu yang mungkin tidak semua orang bisa akses, untuk jadi dapat di akses ke seluruh penjuru tempat. Tidak heran mengapa salah satu dosen saya pernah bilang, “ The real diplomats are actually the Journalists.”  

Terlebih kini saya berpikir bahwa karir perkuliahan saya selama 3 semester ini ternyata sarat akan ‘jejak’. Mungkin juga tidak banyak yang bisa saya lakukan untuk membuat itu lebih baik. Terlalu berapi – api dalam mengemukakan pendapat secara verbal tanpa memiliki catatan apapun, kadang membuat diri saya terasa bodoh karena mungkin diluar sana telah banyak orang – orang yang diam tak bersuara namun diam – diam begitu tajam dalam menulis. Tentunya saya tidak ingin terus menjadi apa saya sekarang, untuk itulah mungkin inilah saatnya mempelajari hal baru yang mungkin saja bisa menggerakkan stagnasi yang kini saya alami.

Semoga tulisan ini dapat memotivasi diri saya secara pribadi untuk memulai belajar menulis sebagai seorang Jurnalis, dan tidak hanya menjadi semangat sesaat yang timbul ketika saya lapar di malam hari. 

goodreads.com